The courage to change your life

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

What does it take to change your life?

Well in my humble opinion it takes a whole lot of courage, determination, drive, ambition and the unfailing support of your family and friends.

I used to be sitting behind my desk in the office or driving around the country on client visits thinking to myself “there has to be more, there has to be! Life just can’t be about going to work and praying for the weekend not to end, it can’t be! There has to be more!!!”

And you know what? There is more out there you just have to be brave enough to:

  1. Realise you’re not happy in your current situation
  2. Realise what it is you’re not happy about
  3. Understand what you want to do
  4. Be willing to put the changes in place to achieve your objective

Now, I’d already realised 1 & 2 but it was 3 & 4 that I struggled with.

I’ve never really known what it was I wanted to do or be with regards to my career; I’d always been lucky enough to “fall into” work and through hard work managed to achieve a fair bit, promotions, good salaries, good commissions and fabulous friends etc but there was always something lurking in the back of my mind and it was a little voice saying to me “there is more you know”

And there is more! How did I discover “my more?”

I quit my job, sold my house and went volunteering and travelling, as you do! J

A little extreme perhaps, but the question is “knowing now what I know, would I still do it?” and the answer is………

HELL YEAH!!!!

If you are thinking that you’re done with the daily grind, if material nonsense no longer pleases you more than 2 minutes following the purchase, if you’re unhappy in your relationship, if you don’t know what you want to do with your life but you know you’re not doing it, if you’re sick & tired of the crappy weather and the recession woes of the UK; then I would URGE you to make some changes, maybe not as drastic as selling your whole world but still make them, make the changes you can live with and go do something different; volunteer, travel, camp America, European road trip, yoga courses, therapy, fruit picking in Europe, if you’re young enough go live & work in Oz or NZ for a year, re-train, go back to school, work with young people, elderly people, make a difference in your lives and theirs but DO IT, JUST DO IT! (Thank you Nike!)

This is it people, this our one shot at having the most amazing life and we are meant to have an amazing life; dig deep, find the courage and do it!

I know it seems scary and you might not be able to achieve it but the question to ask yourself is this:

What have I got to lose by trying?

Good luck y’all, it’s an amazing feeling when you realise you’re living the life you love :-)

As always, would love to know what you think and if you’re thinking of changing direction in any aspect of your life, would love to hear your thoughts, views and how you’re getting on!

Until next time…… E xxx

Posted in Dancing to your own tune, Life Lessons

Giving

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

OK so we’re a little way into February already but I’ve only just come up with the idea of doing something good/positive/loving/kind/generous every day for the rest of the month.

One of my favourite books is The Secret, The Power and after reading a couple of chapters yesterday I felt compelled to be more proactive and aware with regards to doing good and giving even although generally I am a very giving person but I wanted to be aware of it as I think we tend to give ourselves to friends and family as a matter of course but without really realising the impact you have on that person and I think it’s really important to be aware of just what you are giving of yourself.

For me, this is vitally important as I’ve recently come to realise that if involved or surrounded by negativity, i.e., problems, issues, unhappiness, illness I tend to take those feelings on myself and therefore I become down, unhappy, struggle with following my heart etc and so in order for me to work on this I thought the best way to start would be; to become much more aware of the world around me at any one time, realise I can’t fix/help/change everything/everybody and so to keep my spirit up in the higher echelons (do you like that word!) of happiness and awareness I would make a point to be more aware and record it daily.

So here goes…..

The goal:

Do something lovely, kind, generous, thoughtful for someone; stranger, friend, acquaintance every day for the rest of the month

The reason:

I genuinely want to make a difference in the World and so if I can make someone’s day brighter then I will be a very happy girl and the benefits of “giving” can only make you feel amazing and more aware of the world around you and therefore keeping my spirit as high as it can go!

The dilemma:

I’m now thinking is it right to give in order to feel better about your world? Hmmmm! Do we give to feel better about ourselves or do we simply give without thought of ourselves and because of that we feel amazing? Yesterday, when the idea came to me I had recently shared a blog site with a couple of girlfriends because I thought they would really enjoy it, I didn’t actually think about me at the time other than to smile at the thought of my girls enjoying the blog and maybe being inspired. OK so dilemma over :-)

Today, is the 11th February and I’m off to spend a few hours on the beach, my most inspirational place, so I will keep you all posted on my “Month of Giving” and my daily good deeds.

Would love to know what you think and how you all feel about giving, the dilemma above and if you struggle to let go of other people’s issues, negativity etc, drop me a line! E xxx

Posted in Dancing to your own tune, Life Lessons

Why Education?

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

I’ve recently started a little part-time job just to keep the funds coming in and I’ve been questioned by my new work colleagues about why I felt the need to go travelling, to change my life, to start a charity and why I feel so strongly about education for women & girls and it’s got me to thinking again :-)

So, as always, I thought I would share;

I’m going to focus on why I feel so strongly about education for girls, in light of Malala Yousafzai; the young Pakistani girl shot by the Taliban for her “Western” ways in being a voice for the young girls in the Swat Valley; all this young girl wanted to do was go to school, gain her degree and become a doctor; that was her dream! Will she achieve her dream? Let’s pray she does!

In these developing worlds, young girls are generally taken out of school around the age of 12 pretty much as soon as they become “women” their communities and families do not see the value in educating girls as they will simply become wives, mothers and homemakers regardless of their dreams and this saddens me, infact I’d be so bold as to say every time I think about it, which is regularly considering my work, it breaks my heart a little bit each time and provides me with the necessary drive to make a small difference wherever possible through online and/or onsite volunteering.

I also feel that our youth, sounding like my mother now :-) , could do with being subject to a little bit of this life that may in turn allow them to be truly thankful for the world in which we live in here; education provided for everybody and yet if you ask a young person, in the UK, what they think about school you’ll probably get a shrug of the shoulder and big fat grunt, the kids, boys & girls, that I have met in India over the last few years through the volunteering, are desperate to learn, desperate! They just want to go to school so they can learn and so they have better opportunities in the future; this is why I do what I do because these kids deserve their education because they are committed, they want to learn and they want to make their life better and if I can help them achieve their dreams through online volunteering then how bloody amazing is that!.

Equally, for our volunteers the main attributes we look for here are; drive, passion, ambition, a huge desire to make a difference; these are the people that can set the world on fire, through volunteering you can make a huge difference to so many lives without actually realising it but once you realise that you have infact made a difference; there is no feeling like it, it is truly amazing! You should definitely try it :-)

As always, would love to hear your thoughts on this, feel free to leave a comment or email me direct. E xx

Posted in Life Lessons, Volunteering

Is international volunteering beneficial?

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

I read an article yesterday that was berating the international volunteer and the hundreds of “voluntourism” programmes and companies out there and it upset me in one way and inspired me in another; inspired to write and get my point across!

There is room out there for all kinds of volunteering programmes and it is the responsibility of the sending organisation and the volunteer to ensure that all of their ethical and sustainability queries are asked and answered responsibly before making an informed decision about which programme to choose, but more on that in a later post.

As a sending organisation, it is imperative that you partner with socially responsible organisations running volunteering programmes; these organisations need to be in a position to ensure that the volunteering programmes are sustainable, that the volunteers are making a conscious difference and that the communities are benefiting hugely from the volunteering programmes and the international volunteers.

International volunteers must be socially and culturally aware of the community and country that they are travelling to, there must be a level of respect for these people who are welcoming you into their worlds to make a difference; and the international volunteers do make a difference.

So how do the communities benefit from these programmes? I can only speak for my own experiences during my own time volunteering and working abroad as a volunteer manager in an international volunteering programme in India;

The communities we were involved with ranged from computer classes for teenage girls to child care at nursery age, primary school, orphanages and old age homes; words alone will never describe how amazing it is to see the smiles on the faces of the elderly when the volunteers arrive to spend a couple of hours every morning and afternoon with them, the sheer delight on their faces would melt the stoniest of hearts. At the girls orphanage we were only able to work with girls of a certain age and only after they returned from school so we helped them with their homework and encouraged creativity with arts & crafts; this project was by no means a pity project, the girls were all very well cared for and we added the additional benefit of a homework club and creative sessions.

In effect, this is where the relationship between host organisation, sending organisation and beneficiaries come in; constant communications regarding what will work and what won’t for each particular project within the community is of paramount importance. Equally, is the management, care and the utilisation of specific skills of the international volunteer; when all of these boxes are ticked and working then all 3 areas of the relationship benefit greatly.

Feel free to share your thoughts and voice your opinion. E xx

Posted in Volunteering

Do you feel like an imposter?

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

Before I started Skills for Girls, I was in software sales, constantly under-pressure to deliver quarterly targets, not allowed to take holidays during the last month of every quarter because that was when the majority of our sales came in, negotiating deals on the last day of the quarter to hit your own target, your team’s target and the company targets; doing whatever was necessary to get those deals in; it was hilarious, it was hard work, it was fun and we all earned huge amounts of money which was great.

One day I was driving back to the office from a new business meeting with a fairly large, well known corporate organisation having managed to secure moving to the next stage of the sale, always a good move, when it suddenly dawned on me that I felt like a complete imposter; I wasn’t your typically driven, ambitious, hard-ass salesperson I just kind of enjoyed meeting all the people and finding out all about them, I think that’s what made me successful, not the fact that I was the best closer in town or the most ambitious and so now that I have the time to reflect back on that time in my career I’ve finally realised the reason;

The reason I felt like an imposter was simply because I wasn’t supposed to be an IT salesperson! I was supposed to do something so far removed from IT sales I can’t believe I spent 10 years of my life there.

Why can’t we get these heads up when we’re doing stuff we’re not supposed to be doing, why do we have to go through the pain and suffering of not fitting in, not being good enough blah blah blah.

Why is it only when you find your life’s purpose that you realise? So I have felt compelled today to share this with you all in the hope that if there’s somebody somewhere reading this and you feel like you don’t belong in your workplace, like you’re pretending to be something you’re not, if you’re not completely thrilled to be jumping out of bed to go to work; then you’re probably not doing what you’re supposed to be doing.

I would urge you to think about your passions and work out if you’re supposed to be doing that rather than working just to earn a salary. Have a little think about it; if you could be anything you wanted to be what would it be and how can you get there? Put the plans in place, take small steps towards the dream every day and you will get there. It takes determination, realisation, positivity and an amazing support system in the guise of family and friends but damn is it worth it when you get there J

As always, would love to know what you think about this, especially if you’re on the way to following your dream. E xxx

Posted in Dancing to your own tune, Life Lessons

Olympic Emotion

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

I’ve spent the last few days totally immersed in the London 2012 Olympics; from the Opening Ceremony through to this weekend, we’ve witnessed the highs and lows of the intense competition, the pressure each athlete puts on themselves to win a medal for their Country, the pride of winning and the devastation of not winning and it got me thinking do we do this in our lives?

Do we put so much pressure on ourselves to conform, to do things we feel we should do rather than doing what makes us happy? How many of us do things that other people want us to do despite knowing full well that it not be a happy event for us? How many of us do things that we think the other person wants us to do because that will make them happy, ever done this?

Do these athletes compromise in search of their dream? HELL NO!!!! Why should WE??

But we do….. Is it because we don’t know what our dreams are, do we not know what we want our lives to look like?

I have cried like a baby pretty much every day; the Opening Ceremony made me so proud to be British and reminded me of what an amazing little Country we are (I could go off on one here but I am trying to restrain myself!!) and what we have achieved and hopefully will continue to achieve; I’m in the US at the moment so watching very biased coverage and rightly so, but one thing they are always showing throughout the coverage are beautiful ariel shots of London, so pretty, especially when the sun is shining! But I digress, back to my blubbing like a baby; it’s fair to say I can get quite emotional watching trash TV shows like So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing with the Stars, X-Factor, chick flick movies; I love them and I’ve realised WHY this afternoon, whilst blubbing watching Murray go through to the Olympic Tennis Final, and I am so excited I felt compelled to share J

I cry like a baby when I see people realise their dreams and I think because it took me so long to realise mine that I feel truly overwhelmed and happy for everybody that gets the opportunity to realise their dreams that I can’t help but cry with pure unadulterated joy for them when I see them fulfil their desires, it makes me feel blessed and grateful that I eventually found the key to my success; Gratitude & Love, I am full of gratitude and love and this in turn provides me with an amazingly fulfilled & happy life as I am now living the life I love.

Spreading the Love and Magic! E xx

As always, would love to know what you think….. Are you following your dream? If not, why not? What’s stopping you? Tell me, maybe I can help xx

Posted in Life Lessons

Guest Post: Gibby’s Volunteering Story

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

My partner, Lisa and I left the UK on 15th December 2008 in the freezing cold so it was a shock to the system stepping off the plane at Dabolim (Goa) airport, into the tropical heat, I say airport but it reminded me of a 1970s bus station without the graffiti.

We were told we would be met at the airport by someone with a sign saying IDEX but as we walked out of the airport we were greeted by around 60 Indian taxi drivers, all clamouring for our custom, damn, what do we do now? But then out of the sea of black hair and moustaches we saw a female European face with no moustache and an IDEX sign, result. This was Elaine, who was not only European and spoke English but had lived 15 miles from us in the UK for quite a few years. After introductions we got in the land rover and headed for Colva and the IDEX camp house.

The journey from the airport was spent with mouths and eyes wide open, every turn in the road brought something new, weird and wonderful to see. One thing I would say about India is that every day you will see something that will make you say “I’ve never seen that before”.

My first impression as we drove along roads lined with palm and banana trees was that the draught coming in the open window was like a hair-dryer blowing in your face. Could it really be this warm all the time? I live in the central belt of Scotland my body wasn’t built for this kind of heat.

In Colva, we were taken to the orange house which was to be our base for the next month. First impressions were that it was very basic but it soon came to feel like home and we would spend many an evening chatting with our house mates over a beer or a masala chai, very cosy!

We were taken round all of the projects run by IDEX with a view to choosing our placement. This was heartbreaking and thrilling in equal measure with visits to orphanages, schools and an old age asylum.

After meeting a few of the characters in the old age home I decided that this was the place for me. I could try to make out like Mother Teresa and say the squalor and misery made me want to help make a difference here but it was actually an old guy called Frank who used to be a lawyer, spoke like an English aristocrat, had only one leg and was as mad as a bag of mad things that made me want to work there, he was great. It could be a sad place to work at times but there was also a fair bit of humour too, although most of it was at my expense for the first few days! I don’t think anyone there had seen a white man who actually bordered on pale blue with bright red patches before.

I will never forget the people I met there, people like Jasita who was bed ridden and never wore trousers but had to be lifted out of his bed and helped into his wheelchair everyday. We didn’t speak each other’s language but giggled like schoolgirls every time we wrestled him in and out of the chair.

There was Granny too who would insist on playing games with you which she would never let you win even if it meant cheating. There was also Kaji who I still keep in touch with today. Kaji fell out of a coconut tree and ended up paralysed from the waist down, but retained dignity and pride despite his situation and surroundings, an amazingly positive man who took me under his wing and actually looked after me and told me the way of things.
I can’t write about the old age home without mentioning my two girls Fatima and Maria; Fatima was blind and had lived on the streets of Margao for years before coming to the old age home. She was very small and timid and I know this might sound like bullshit but it really did brighten up my day to see her smile. I just hope I had the same effect on her by making her smile. Unfortunately, Fatima died soon after I left Goa.

Maria was a one off, 100 years old weighed about three stone and had a love for painkillers. She could speak English, Portuguese, Hindi and Konkani and would bless you in all four languages every day. After a couple of days, Maria and I were best mates and she would even call me baba and tell me to shave my beard because she didn’t like it as it made me look untidy. She could be a bossy wee bugger at times.

By the end of week one I was hooked and looked forward to going to work even though I quickly realised that I wasn’t there to make drastic changes to anyone’s life or circumstances but if I could nip round to the pharmacy and get clove oil for one of the women’s toothache, give a couple of the men a shave or even have a laugh and game of solitaire with granny or some of the others then that was enough for that day at least.

I won’t lie about it I came back to the orange house in tears on more than one occasion but it was all well worth it. I would recommend volunteering in India to anyone. Yes there is poverty and things that will undoubtedly upset you but there is so much more to be given and gained from it. I met people, did things and had conversations I would never have had the opportunity to have if I hadn’t volunteered; it was an enlightening, enriching experience and I wish I had done it years ago.

Do it! You never know it might change your outlook on life, it did mine.

Gibby, volunteer 2008

Posted in Travelling, Volunteering

I survived summer camp!

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

Well, I survived! Just! The heat was tremendous in the Texan countryside but thankfully for us our “cabin” was beautifully furnished and came complete with AIR CONDITIONING WOO HOO!!!

I use the term “cabin” very lightly, it was a beautiful house really; 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, living/dining area and a fully equipped kitchen but the piece de resistance was the porch over- looking the grounds of Circle Lake along with white painted rocking chairs, including two baby chairs and a love seat swing, it was really too cute for words.

Comparing volunteering in the US with India well truly there is no comparison really the organisation of the camp was almost military apart from the car pool pick up on the first day, but that was quickly put right and ran perfectly for the rest of the week.

Picking up on the points I wanted to compare, here’s how it all worked in the US:

Orientation; Took a good couple of hours in the Sunday but it was more of a session for the parents to make sure all their queries were addressed and they felt happy dropping off their little ones the next day, some were new to camp and rightly concerned about leaving their diabetic kids with strangers in effect but all queries were answered professionally and all the kids were duly dropped off the following morning.

Volunteer integration & support:  hmmm well this was a little different; there was a large group of volunteers from a club in Houston who have worked with the American Diabetes Association for the last few years and so their job was to manage a group of children, then there was the medical staff either fully trained or medical students, then there was the CIT’s counsellors in training to you and me; a group of teenagers 14-18yrs old who have been involved with camp over the past few years and are working towards becoming adult volunteers and then there were the general volunteers who pretty much ran around doing the odd jobs; chair stacking, car pool,  general bits & pieces and a lot of standing around not doing very much other than watching kids have a fab time and boy did they have a fab time.

Health & Safety: well with the abundance of medical staff we were good to go! No worries here and we had the assistance of the people who owned and managed the venue also.

Living Accommodation:  as previously mentioned our “cabin” was stunning, beautiful and provided us with much needed AC and comfy sofas however, there was no kettle or no television luckily we brought own kettle, a girl needs her English tea, along with a gazillion games to keep us occupied.

Satisfaction levels: I had a fab time but I’m not entirely sure that I made any kind of impact apart from encouraging one little boy to carry on hula hooping at the disco party; he was having such a good time and greeting the families with a big cheesy grin during drop-off that was probably about it so not so great here.

Children; Are kids the same everywhere? Pretty much I think, the kids at camp on the first day were shy, a little apprehensive by the second day they were jumping out the cars, running to check in and go find their new friends from the previous day and then on the last 2 days they were absolutely exhausted from all the activities but they had an amazing time just being “normal” kids and enjoying the fact that they could just have fun with the rock wall, fishing, canoeing, swimming, arts & crafts, disco party, water slides and talks from some really cool grown-ups who also have diabetes but have not allowed it to interfere with dreams and goals. They even got to meet JD the diabetic service dog, which they were all very excited about.

So, it was an interesting week for me and the kids had the most amazing time so all in all a pretty successful week, but for me it wasn’t India and so my love affair continues……

E xxx

Posted in Volunteering

Home alone in Houston

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

You know you’re in trouble when you start talking to yourself, out loud!! When you make the cleaner stay longer by almost an hour, making her tea & croissants and waffling about her life in El Salvador!! I need help seriously!!

G&C went on holiday to Peru last Sunday after the Wimbledon final clearly, there was absolutely no way we were getting C out of the house until Roger won his 7th title: Yay Go Roger!

G drove to the airport but I had to drive back, now I don’t know if any of you have ever driven in Houston but the roads are huge, the trucks are even more huge, undertaking is a way of life and nobody really cares if you happily meander in one of the outside lanes; better than being on the inside where you never really know if you’re gonna end up on some dodgy road off the big main road… so can’t get to grips with beltways, freeways, interstates pah! Why can’t they just have A, B, Duals & Motorways nah ah!!

& don’t even get me started on signposting WTF!! Texas listen up get some sign posts on your roads, ones that actually give you more than 100 yards notice to get across 5 lanes to get off, or indeed on! I am loving the turning right on a red light though that is so exciting! And so helps the flow of traffic; listen up UK!!

So, it’s Thursday night and so far I’ve managed out of the house once, once for goodness sake (camp has left a lasting impression on my language!) It has rained and rained and rained for days a whole lotta rain along with thunder and lightning, lightning that lights up the whole sky like the 4th of July, mental. So mental we had a warning through the TV this morning a flash floods everywhere kind of warning, I was thinking Mr G might not be too happy if I went off driving his beloved Storm in the storm; so glad my trip out on Tuesday was to the grocery store; supermarket to you and me :-)

What do the next few days hold weather wise? Probably more rain, more thunder storms but I have to get out; I’ve washed everything twice just to have something to do, I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy for 3 hours a day and recording every trash movie I can find, in-between the scheduled recordings, just in case I actually get rained in.

Just in case you were wondering and thinking I’m just being a wimp; when it rains here it really rains, roads are flooded in minutes it’s mental but that don’t stop them truck drivers driving like lunatics nah ah!

Wish me luck y’all

E xxx

Posted in Life Lessons

Volunteering; I’m off to summer camp

May 20th, 2013 . No Comments »

It’s the night before Summer Camp and I’m in a reflective mood about what I’m going to find, a similar feeling I had when I was on my way to India to volunteer although not quite so terrified as;

A)     I’m in the USofA

B)      I’m going with friends

C)      It’s a car journey an hour away

D)     There will be no Daal

And not:

A)     Thousands of miles away from everybody I love (I’m with one of them!)

B)      India; where you’re never quite sure what’s going to happen next

C)      No trekking involved (hopefully!)

D)     No overnight in a tent in the hills outside a tribal village, sharing with relative strangers

E)      No overnight train journey

So, I should be fine :-) famous last words!!!

Actually, I’m quite looking forward to it as I’ve never volunteered in a developed country before and certainly never with 150 or so kids ranging in age from 4-17 all in one place! In the words of an old volunteer buddy from India “yowser!”

I’m particularly looking forward to comparing volunteering in the USA to volunteering in India and also the difference in the children; the camp is for children suffering with diabetes and their siblings so it will be really interesting.

Ares of particular interest will be:

  • Orientation; could have done with more of this in India
  • Volunteer integration and support: works amazing in India as everybody is totally out of their comfort zone and everybody pulls together to get everybody through it; a truly wonderful bonding experience leaving you with friends for life.
  • Health and safety; well I’m sure you’re all more than aware of the lack of H&S in India, have you seen any pictures of the building/road maintenance crews digging/building in their bare feet!!! See the pictures below J
  • Living accommodation; very entertaining in India, some days you had hot water other days there was no water, some days there was power other days not so much, although I think the bug situation in the Texan countryside could be similar!
  • Satisfaction levels;  to know that you’ve made a small difference to just one child in the world was an amazing gift and one that I think I will be surprised if I feel it following this camp, but I’m very open to being pleasantly surprised.
  • Children: Are kids the same everywhere, do they deal with adversity the same here as there? How do kids in India deal with diabetes? Are the treatments here the same as there?  Is it more prevalent here or there (research required!)

So, tomorrow we head off on our very small road trip to Camp for orientation in the afternoon and then we kick-off at 8am on Monday for four days so I shall let y’all know how it went when I get back.

As always, would love to hear your thoughts on the post and if you have any ideas for content then drop me a note.

Have a great week! E xxx

Posted in Volunteering
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